<3
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Mid-Summer Night's Dream
It's halfway through the summer and only about 2 weeks until the wedding. I'm pretty much done with it. but I'm excited for the rest of my summer after I can wash my hands of this god damned wedding. I got my glasses yesterday and I look fucking gorgeous wearing them. I swear, my face was MADE to wear glasses.
I just got back from a week and a half vacation in California which was sooo relaxing. and I had an epiphany of sorts. I was looking at pictures of the bridal shower that my cousin and I spent literal weeks planning and every picture that had my sister in it, I had the strong urge to slap my sister. I've decided that as soon as I can make it happen, I'm cutting ties with my sister. for at least a year. hopefully more.
I know. That sounds like a horrible thing to say about your sister and we've been through so much together that it's going to be hard. but she's poison to me. she's killing me and if I don't stop it then it won't be stopped and I'll go insane!
The really hard part is going to be that if I want to distance myself from her, it means I'll be distancing myself from the rest of my family too. the family that I love. I don't mind too terribly about distancing myself from my dad. he's a sort of poison too. but my aunt and uncle and cousins? they've been the only thing keeping me halfway sane through my entire crazy life so far.
anyway. I'll do what I have to.
Ta-La for now.
I just got back from a week and a half vacation in California which was sooo relaxing. and I had an epiphany of sorts. I was looking at pictures of the bridal shower that my cousin and I spent literal weeks planning and every picture that had my sister in it, I had the strong urge to slap my sister. I've decided that as soon as I can make it happen, I'm cutting ties with my sister. for at least a year. hopefully more.
I know. That sounds like a horrible thing to say about your sister and we've been through so much together that it's going to be hard. but she's poison to me. she's killing me and if I don't stop it then it won't be stopped and I'll go insane!
The really hard part is going to be that if I want to distance myself from her, it means I'll be distancing myself from the rest of my family too. the family that I love. I don't mind too terribly about distancing myself from my dad. he's a sort of poison too. but my aunt and uncle and cousins? they've been the only thing keeping me halfway sane through my entire crazy life so far.
anyway. I'll do what I have to.
Ta-La for now.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
End of Year
The end of my first year in college has come and gone. I'm back at home in wonderful Vancouver. Now, anyone who actually LIVES in Vancouver is thinking I have something incredibly wrong with me right now. but honestly, summer in Vancouver is awesome. warm sunny days (but not too warm) cool refreshing nights. perfect. twilight is my favorite time of day all summer long. because the heat is just cooling off but it isn't too cool yet. although long walks in the twilight/evening sometimes get me in trouble with the mosquitoes (my blood is candy to them) and then I scratch the bites until they're nothing but giant scabs. all in all, summer is perhaps my favorite time of year.
In case anyone was wondering, My first year of college kind of sucked. you know that stereotypical college scene where it's sunny and boys are playing football or something? I never saw that at all. oh it was plenty sunny. but actually, the only day I ever saw the bustle I expected on my college campus was on my very last day there. Frisbee golf was being played on the lawn outside my dorms and people were going hither and yon trying to pack various sorts of vehicles to return home for the summer. It was the sort of thing I had been looking for and had missed all goddamn year and I had to experience it while moving my bloody boxes in 95 degree weather. I was so exhausted by the end that I couldn't even enjoy it.
well now that I'm home I have a lot more free time on my hands. currently, I have a huge headache. I was really looking forward to adventuring with my friends all over the west side this summer but as soon as I got home my sister sprung wedding plans on me. now, she's counting on me to help plan her wedding in just under two months. it's a lot of pressure and we're all feeling it, but I think we can hold up. I really think it's going to be a good wedding and my soon-to-be brother in law is freeking awesome!
Anyway, I think that's enough for now.
Ta-la my dears
In case anyone was wondering, My first year of college kind of sucked. you know that stereotypical college scene where it's sunny and boys are playing football or something? I never saw that at all. oh it was plenty sunny. but actually, the only day I ever saw the bustle I expected on my college campus was on my very last day there. Frisbee golf was being played on the lawn outside my dorms and people were going hither and yon trying to pack various sorts of vehicles to return home for the summer. It was the sort of thing I had been looking for and had missed all goddamn year and I had to experience it while moving my bloody boxes in 95 degree weather. I was so exhausted by the end that I couldn't even enjoy it.
well now that I'm home I have a lot more free time on my hands. currently, I have a huge headache. I was really looking forward to adventuring with my friends all over the west side this summer but as soon as I got home my sister sprung wedding plans on me. now, she's counting on me to help plan her wedding in just under two months. it's a lot of pressure and we're all feeling it, but I think we can hold up. I really think it's going to be a good wedding and my soon-to-be brother in law is freeking awesome!
Anyway, I think that's enough for now.
Ta-la my dears
Friday, May 13, 2011
Have you ever
Have you ever felt the need to cry until you fall asleep? to cry long and hard and loud until someone takes your pain away?
That's what I'm feeling right now. and if I had the time, or the tears would come I would allow myself this one indulgence. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
Meaning that I can't even allow myself to do this because I have homework to do. and everything I do (or choose NOT to do) affects my future, and as I want the best possible future, I have to do everything I can to make that a possibility. essentially, I have to give my life to school right now. I can't even afford time to cry. not right now anyways.
My English mid-term is due in t-minus 20 hours and it may or may not take approximately that much time to do it.
Please cry for me.
That's what I'm feeling right now. and if I had the time, or the tears would come I would allow myself this one indulgence. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
Meaning that I can't even allow myself to do this because I have homework to do. and everything I do (or choose NOT to do) affects my future, and as I want the best possible future, I have to do everything I can to make that a possibility. essentially, I have to give my life to school right now. I can't even afford time to cry. not right now anyways.
My English mid-term is due in t-minus 20 hours and it may or may not take approximately that much time to do it.
Please cry for me.
Monday, May 9, 2011
To Tame the Wild Spirit. . .
If I was a poet, I would make a poem with this title about a girl who dreams of adventure, sitting at her desk doing math homework or something. I think I would enjoy it.
Existential crisis.
okay. not really. but . . . you know how before a major change that you've been anticipating, you imagine how everything is going to be? yeah. and then it never turns out that way? at least it doesn't for me. maybe it does for you. maybe I'm just one of the unlucky ones. anyway, I don't really have the patience right now for this. or the energy. I'm just waiting for the sun to finally go down so I can get some god damned sleep already. I know I was supposed to go to the gym today, but I realized that it would be stupid to start today because I'm donating blood tomorrow and wouldn't be allowed to work out. also, I'm really fucking tired.
The air coming in my window smells like pot.
I'm not really surprised.
Maybe I'll finish this one later.
Night.
The air coming in my window smells like pot.
I'm not really surprised.
Maybe I'll finish this one later.
Night.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My Party Jams (If I Were To Party)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmzXdtYzhFw&feature=related
also
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyMZ1A3QPlc
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP2srT6hh2Y
oh, and this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLPHAzDMVT4
they make me want to go to a club.
I don't know how to make those the actual video but those are the links. so. . . cool.
also
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyMZ1A3QPlc
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP2srT6hh2Y
oh, and this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLPHAzDMVT4
they make me want to go to a club.
I don't know how to make those the actual video but those are the links. so. . . cool.
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