Lately I've been feeling very sad and lonely. like I've been left out of something that I was so looking forward to. I feel like people that love me and care about me just really haven't had time for me. I know it isn't true, that my mind is up to it's old depression tricks. but it's really hard to keep myself from going down that way. after all, who would care about me? who wants to listen about how I'm feeling all the time? I annoy myself so why wouldn't other people get annoyed by me? why should my family have to put up with this worthless person who can't seem to get over one stupid person from her life. it's not the end of the world after all.
I hardly ever get like this anymore. mostly only after I dream about her. which I did last night. I keep thinking how wonderful it would be if I could just stay in that dream all the time, where people actually loved me. and where she was alive again. and we lived in that house again, just me and her.
Just thinking about it really makes me want to cry.
and on top of that I'm sort of worried about school again. last time I had such a difficult time. I wanted to go home after I was there for 2 days. I'm really going to miss my aunt and uncle again.
alright.
Ta
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