The Hardest Part

The hardest part of being. . . well, being me, I suppose, is. . . I guess I'd have to say reality.

Reality is a really hard thing.
That's why I love books, and movies, and TV shows (though admittedly, the only tv shows I like are cartoons and Criminal Minds)
That's the weird thing about me. for things I love, movies, cartoons, and especially books, I get so invested, so caught up that I never want them to end. when the characters are tired, I'm tired. when they're thirsty, I'm thirsty (in one book I read, the main character was lost in a desert during one part. I drank so much water while I was reading that, it was ridiculous.) The point is that I would gladly give everything away right now if I could live in the fictional world of my choosing.
I want to live out my life in a world of adventures and magic and dragons! it doesn't matter what fictional world I went to as long as I didn't have to stay here.

Unfortunately, books and other media are the closest things I can get.

Which is why I love books!

the hardest part of loving these things is the end. because all of them end. and I'm left wondering, well what happened to this minor character? what happened to the dog? what's his back story? did he ever find his parents? did they ever fall in love? did they have kids? what happens next?

What. Happens. Next.

It's always terribly upsetting. and there's nothing to help it, except to watch it again. or read it again. and again. and again. until the story is mine and I know every minute detail. until I know every emotion like it was my own. and then I move on to the next movie or book that's waiting for me. and I do this same thing over and over and over again. waiting for it to somehow be okay. waiting for MY turn.

I have no patience for things I don't love though. I can make myself read them or watch them, but I won't like it. If I have to watch a movie I'm not enamored with, it seems like it lasts a lifetime. Books that I don't like (Little Women, I'm talking to you) drag on and on. it takes me at least twice as long to finish, if I don't quit it entirely (or put off until further notice/ indefinitely)

I guess the point of this post is to say that for me, reading and watching something is all or nothing. and it's everything to me. I would probably go insane if I couldn't disappear into a book for hours upon hours at any point in my day. I'm not saying I'm not already insane. I'm just pointing out that I would probably become unstable and would have to be put away for my own good.

Also, there's this: Get over yourself adulthood, I'll never give up my cartoons!

I like them so much more than anything live-action, you see. cause the further I get away from reality, the more I like it.

ta ta, mes amis.