http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmzXdtYzhFw&feature=related
also
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyMZ1A3QPlc
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP2srT6hh2Y
oh, and this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLPHAzDMVT4
they make me want to go to a club.
I don't know how to make those the actual video but those are the links. so. . . cool.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Anxiety Averted. . . sorta
Okay you remember that post a couple days ago about me freaking out about the future? yeah. I feel a little bit better about my place in the world.
I just spent the better part of 3 hours planning the next 3 years of my life. I don't know minor details like where I'm going to live for those 3 years or how I'm going to pay for food, but I know what classes I'm going to take. which makes me feel reasonably content that I at least have a chance of getting a job at Random House when I graduate. which of course would be a dream come true.
However, I need some more motivation. I need some big New York posters or something. and a map. and i want to visit on vacation (which my dad will probably not do, but it would be so cool if he did)
Okay here's my plan: I work my ass off for the next 3 years getting a BA in English Language and Literature with a Writing Specialization and a professional Writing Certificate.
sound hard?
Oh, and did I mention that I want to graduate with honors?
it probably won't happen, but I'm aiming for it.
High school was such a personal failure for me that I want college to make me someone that employers want to hire.
That's all. I'm going to have a talk with my adviser to see if it's actually possible to do this. not today. maybe sometime later this week.
I just spent the better part of 3 hours planning the next 3 years of my life. I don't know minor details like where I'm going to live for those 3 years or how I'm going to pay for food, but I know what classes I'm going to take. which makes me feel reasonably content that I at least have a chance of getting a job at Random House when I graduate. which of course would be a dream come true.
However, I need some more motivation. I need some big New York posters or something. and a map. and i want to visit on vacation (which my dad will probably not do, but it would be so cool if he did)
Okay here's my plan: I work my ass off for the next 3 years getting a BA in English Language and Literature with a Writing Specialization and a professional Writing Certificate.
sound hard?
Oh, and did I mention that I want to graduate with honors?
it probably won't happen, but I'm aiming for it.
High school was such a personal failure for me that I want college to make me someone that employers want to hire.
That's all. I'm going to have a talk with my adviser to see if it's actually possible to do this. not today. maybe sometime later this week.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Quick! Everyone Panic!
Have you ever thought to the future. . . no, that isn't where I want to start this.
Okay, back when I was in elementary school I thought middle school was so far away that I would never get there. I thought the same thing as a 6th grader for high school, and a freshman for college. what I know now is that whether you like it or not, whether you make a conscious effort to do the best you can every single day, the world moves on. Time, moves on. and you reach the future that you never thought you would reach. back in middle school, thinking I would never get to high school was nothing. high school isn't the real world. it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. you forget what you were memorized for that one history test, and those math equations that you never remembered in the first place that you wrote on your hand for the test. high school doesn't matter.
but now. . . I'm in college, worrying about the future again. but this time it's for real. the future after college is real life, and I'm worried that I'm not cut out for it. what if I can't make it? I'll go crazy if I'm stuck in Vancouver for the rest of my life! but what if. what if I can't make it in New York like I DESPERATELY want to? what am I supposed to do if I'm no good? come back to Vancouver and work at a lame job and live in a second rate apartment? I don't want that kind of life. What if I simply can't do it?
every once in a while these thoughts come back to me and I panic. I know it stems from my abysmally low self-esteem, but that doesn't help the fear that I won't make it in the world. Andrew says that I won't end up destitute on the streets of New York. I think he says it to make me feel better (which he always does when I'm feeling sad) but he says he knows I won't because he "knows me". which I suppose makes sense. i would never let myself live on the streets, especially if there was somewhere else I could go (and I'll always be able to come home to my family in Vancouver, no matter how bad things get).
My friend Thanh says that all we can worry about is the here and now. Whenever I start to worry about the future, I just have to remind myself to slow down and breathe. I'm not there yet, I still have time. all I can do is worry about now. I can start worrying about the future next year when I'm applying for internships. :-p I feel like that's probably going to be a stressful time in my life.
Okay, back when I was in elementary school I thought middle school was so far away that I would never get there. I thought the same thing as a 6th grader for high school, and a freshman for college. what I know now is that whether you like it or not, whether you make a conscious effort to do the best you can every single day, the world moves on. Time, moves on. and you reach the future that you never thought you would reach. back in middle school, thinking I would never get to high school was nothing. high school isn't the real world. it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. you forget what you were memorized for that one history test, and those math equations that you never remembered in the first place that you wrote on your hand for the test. high school doesn't matter.
but now. . . I'm in college, worrying about the future again. but this time it's for real. the future after college is real life, and I'm worried that I'm not cut out for it. what if I can't make it? I'll go crazy if I'm stuck in Vancouver for the rest of my life! but what if. what if I can't make it in New York like I DESPERATELY want to? what am I supposed to do if I'm no good? come back to Vancouver and work at a lame job and live in a second rate apartment? I don't want that kind of life. What if I simply can't do it?
every once in a while these thoughts come back to me and I panic. I know it stems from my abysmally low self-esteem, but that doesn't help the fear that I won't make it in the world. Andrew says that I won't end up destitute on the streets of New York. I think he says it to make me feel better (which he always does when I'm feeling sad) but he says he knows I won't because he "knows me". which I suppose makes sense. i would never let myself live on the streets, especially if there was somewhere else I could go (and I'll always be able to come home to my family in Vancouver, no matter how bad things get).
My friend Thanh says that all we can worry about is the here and now. Whenever I start to worry about the future, I just have to remind myself to slow down and breathe. I'm not there yet, I still have time. all I can do is worry about now. I can start worrying about the future next year when I'm applying for internships. :-p I feel like that's probably going to be a stressful time in my life.
Monday, April 4, 2011
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